too hard

I’m like a haunted house with a warning sign
that the neighborhood kids explore on friday nights
know what they’re walking into and then are still afraid
when the floors speak or the door shuts on its own

i’m the oversized luggage that you weighed in your room twice
that you knew wouldn’t make it on the flight
so you stay back and watch your plane fly
because you couldn’t bear to leave me behind

what if this is all i’m meant for?
and i’ve been doomed from my start
what if this is all i’m meant for?
is loving me just way too hard?
is loving me just way too hard?

I’m scared of living but I don’t know much else
is this the best its gonna get?
and I wish I could see myself through my dogs eyes
as loving and capable and kind

and in another universe I remember my dreams
and over there i’m self aware
and over there I know how to make myself feel better
when I’m kicking and screaming like a child

what if this is all I’m meant for?
the extra weight that drowns the lifeboat
what if this is all I’m meant for?
to run away when things get hard

and loving me was way too hard

loving me was way too hard